Aside from cooking in the kitchen with my children and husband, I love yoga to help bring us closer together and build a healthy foundation within our bodies. The lessons yoga can teach us are gifts that will keep on giving and nourishing us. I have personally witnessed a greater sense of body awareness and watched both my son and daughter learn how to calm themselves and cultivate an overall greater sense of empathy, caring, and understanding for others around them.

Yoga–as a family or practicing one-on-one with your child–should be an activity that allows children to be completely, wonderfully, magically free to be themselves. Unlike many sports and other extracurricular activities, there are no grades, no gold stickers, ribbons, or medals. There is ZERO judgment or pressure, and no competition.

In two words: NO STRESS!

Here is a sample series of postures I do with both my children that are simple and can be done anywhere, anytime (although my family has incorporated yoga into our bedtime routine).

Click the links to see the poses in action.

Simple Yoga Poses for Kids:

1. Calm Seated Posture
   Begin in an easy seated pose with your eyes closed and hands either in prayer pose at your chest or one hand over heart and one hand over belly. Notice your breathing and tap into how you are feeling. Stay here for 5-10 deep belly breaths.
2. Cat/Cow
   From hands and knees, also known as table top position, exhale and press up rounding your back in cat pose. Inhale and drop your belly towards the floor, looking forward and sticking your bum out in cow pose. Repeat 3-5 times.
3. Downward Dog
   With your hands and feet on your mat shoulder/hip width apart, lift your body into an upside down ‘V’ position. Let your head rest comfortably and think about creating a long upper body from the tip of your head to you tailbone and a long lower body from your hips to your heels. Breath deeply and stay for 5-6 breaths.
4. Plank
   From Downward Dog shift forward with shoulders over wrist and full body engaged in plank pose. Hold 5-10 breaths.
5. Cobra
   Lower yourself to your belly, rise up through your arms and upper body into a slithering cobra.
6. Hop to Frog Pose
   From Cobra press your hips back to your heels, look forwards to your hands and hop your feet outside your hands into frog pose.
7. Standing Forward Fold
   Slowly lift your bum in the air and walk your feet hip distance apart, rest your hands on your shins and breathe relaxing your neck and head.
8. Roll to Rise to Standing
   Carefully bend your knees and slowly roll your body up to rise.
9. Airplane
   Carefully step one leg behind you in the air and use your arms as airplane wings for balance. Repeat on the other side.
10. Standing Forward Fold
    Return to your standing forward fold.
11. Seated Butterfly
    Lower to your bum sitting with your soles of feet together in butterfly pose. Close your eyes and take a few breaths or bow forward touching your head towards your toes.
12. Rest
    Lie together in Floating on a Cloud Pose (also known as Savasana)
13. Connect
    Give your child a hug and thank them for practicing with you.

I also recommend The Kids’ Yoga Deck: 50 Poses and Games by Annie Buckley for any families looking to do more yoga at home.

The post Simple Yoga Poses Any Kid Can Do appeared first on SavvyMom.

And that can be tough for others to see and not feel envious. Posts of beach vacations, neighbours enjoying amazing block parties, families joining up for special events with a gaggle of kids in tow. It can spark a feeling of nervous unease in the onlookers… shouldn’t I be doing all these things as well? Why doesn’t my street have a block party? I’d love to go on a vacation without my kids! Or even (dun dun dun) why wasn’t I invited? Or why was my kid excluded?

Yes, parents, families and friends still form cliques and post all about their exploits just as well as their tween and teen brethren. And reading such posts can sometimes elicit feelings of envy, or FOMO.

But rather than allowing this to be a negative association, there are ways to treat it as a positive – to allow it to be the kick in the behind that might be required to help you achieve some of your goals – think of it as a vision board channelled through social media!

Here are some ways to get control of FOMO and make it work for you:

1. Volunteer:

If you’re feeling FOMO because you don’t yet have a network of parent friends in your neighbourhood, volunteer at the school or attend parent council meetings. It can be a great way to connect with the parents of your kids’ friends and classmates, plus you’ll learn more about what’s going on at the school. And then when it comes times for school events, you’ll know a lot more people. Good for you, great for the kids.

2. Be the Organizer:

Let’s face it – sometimes, if you want to live on the type of block that has an awesome street party every year, you may have to be the one to organize it. Hopefully, this will inspire others to help and take turns, but that’s not the reason to do it – and don’t expect that to be the case. Volunteering to do something like this should come from a desire to do it, not from feelings of guilt. If you want a tradition, start one and enjoy the process. And then enjoy the event for what it is, not for the photo opportunities it provides.

3. Suggest Something:

I was feeling blue this winter looking at social media posts of online friends heading off on trips with friends, sans kids. I was down in the dumps and desperately wanted to do something with my friends, just like in my 20s. I don’t have a friend group in my neighbourhood with whom I could go on such a trip – we aren’t close enough, and schedules just don’t allow. But I do have awesome friends from high school, and I reached out to them to see if we could organize a weekend getaway. Understandably, two could not work in a weekend away without kids, but two others were open to the idea and we’ve started to discuss plans. They might not develop into anything, but the mere fact that it is a possibility is glorious.

4. Remember All the Things You Do Have:

Fear of Missing Out is often about focusing on what you don’t have, or aren’t experiencing. But what about all of the things you do have? In my case, I get to go away with my mom and sisters every December for an overnight to a spa or village. I have a super supportive yoga community. Wonderful cottage neighbours. Just because my “haves” look different than what I see on social media, doesn’t mean they are any less valuable. When you start to look at the wealth of relationships and experiences you have or have had, social media starts to seem fairly irrelevant.

5. Do the Next Thing:

Introverts, this may apply to you. With hectic schedules and horrible weather, it’s super easy to only do things with our immediate family or to cocoon up. And that’s fine – most of the time. But it’s also important to do things without the kids in tow, or even your partner. So do the next thing. Things are opening up again. Go to book club, or yoga, or CrossFit. Flex your logistics muscles and get kid coverage to head to the spa or beach with friends. Make it to the next Paint Night or potluck. Being with different people without our kids may energize us in ways that help fill our patience tanks and stoke our energy levels, even though at the outset it may seem as though this event is an obligation or hassle to plan for.

6. Check Your Goals:

Finally, return to what your actual goals, values and desires are. If spending time with your immediate family is most important to you, then don’t worry about what you see on social media – do what is right for you. Or if you believe in building a strong, connected neighbourhood, then work on that. Support the clubs, organizations and outings that are aligned with your own personal interests and values, not just because everyone else is doing it. When you notice people, events or groups that you look up to, or that fill you with positive energy, attach yourself to those endeavours – no matter what it looks like on social media.

By testing out what we value, we can abandon FOMO and instead set goals and dedicate our time and energy to events and people that we feel good about. And that can turn FOMO into JOMO – a joy of missing out.

The post How to Deal With FOMO: When Parents Get It, Too appeared first on SavvyMom.

That’s how I managed to drag myself with my then-husband to the gym for 6am daily for the better part of a year, pre-pandemic. “Fighter training” was my first step in improving my relationship with exercise however the pandemic, and then my daughter’s illness, and then the rest of the crushing events of the past couple of years, completely wiped me of the ability to do much at all. Pounding a heavy bag and going how-ever-many rounds that particular morning’s workout entailed used to be the hardest thing I’d do that day. And just like that, simply existing was painful. I didn’t have it in me to physically hurt also.

Thanks to my faithful canine companion, I still got out every day. I walked. In silence. Straight out of an ’80s music video with frozen tears streaming down my cheeks during the frosty winter months and a baseball cap pulled over my eyes on sunny days since I’m worried about the sun and aging now. Eventually the silence became too silence-y but making playlists felt impossible. AND being of my advanced age I realized I needed to step up my fitness regime but felt powerless (ha!) to actually lift weights. I was down bad and literally crying at the boxing gym once a week but thankfully sweaty enough so no one really noticed.

Luckily, the nice folks at Peloton got in touch in the spring and asked if I wanted to try their app. They had just added kettlebell workouts which are super handy if you don’t have a lot of space for workout gear storage (or a bike, or a treadmill). I kinda hated working out at home so the idea of Peloton didn’t really appeal. But since now realizing the importance of fitting in exercise however I can, the app helps me find workouts that are suited to doing just that.

I met with Peloton’s Andy Speer. He shared with me some tips for kettlebell training (like using a 20lb kettlebell, when I would only ever use a 10) and about the importance of integrating fitness into one’s daily life…

Andy Speer:

“You asked if is it better to do three days of 30 minutes or five days of 10 minutes. Ideally, you set aside a daily routine. Right. And I always say the more extreme example is better to go to the gym for an hour and a half on Saturday and Sunday and then not during the week. Or do 20 minutes a day during every day.

A little more extreme example of what you do, which is better, I would say, be more consistent with it. Shorter workouts. When you work it into your routine, you’re less likely to skip it.

It’s much more beneficial for both your physical and your mental health. Even if it’s 20 minutes a day to make it happen to get in there. And then within that 20 minutes, maybe two days a week, you do a kettlebell routine that’s like a little bit more strength oriented, maybe a little bit more demanding. One or two days a week, maybe you’re gonna do, you know, put your cardio in and then maybe one day you just do like mobility and core work.”

For me, finding time to exercise felt like just another thing on a never-ending to-do list. That’s why we went so early in the morning. And now I’ve started looking at exercise not as something I should do, but something I deserve to do.

Reframing Movement as Self Care

Somewhere along the way, exercise got tangled up with guilt: If I didn’t do a solid 45-minute workout, did it even count? If I wasn’t sore after, was it a waste of time?

But exercise doesn’t have to be punishing to be powerful. Now I live beside the boardwalk and walk consistently every day. I love the Peloton guided walks. There’s music I didn’t have to think about selecting and moods I can choose between. There are mindful outdoor walks, outdoor after-dinner strolls, and my favourite: Kirsten Ferguson‘s Intention Setting Walks. Never before have I heard a trainer be so vulnerable while leading a workout. For someone who is navigating a great deal of life changes, Kirsten’s words are so validating and inspiring.

So if you think you just don’t have time to work out, you’re not alone. So maybe the real shift is to stop thinking of it as a workout at all. Think of it as self-care. As soul maintenance. As an act of kindness toward the only body and the only self you have.

Because when we move we feel better and we show up better—for ourselves and everyone else.

The post Exercise Is Essential. Exercise Is Self Care appeared first on SavvyMom.

I needed something epic and I needed it fast. And epic family vacations are not easy to pull off at the last minute. The one thing I have (for the time being, anyway) is money thanks to the sale of my home, so that helps. I needed a reset and I need(ed) for my kids to not see me as a mess anymore. I’ve lost my sense of self and I was really afraid of losing my connection with my children.

So I made a decision that is wildly irresponsible on paper and was deeply necessary for my soul… I took us to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, to a place and on an adventure so removed from our everyday lives that healing felt maybe, just maybe, like it might be possible. An eight-day cruise on an eight-cabin boat with at least one snorkeling excursion and one hike (and often three or four) everyday onboard the Beluga. Our days would start with breakfast at 7 a.m. and end with a briefing for the next day at 8 p.m. and be completely full in between.

The absolutely crushing buyers’ remorse was immediate and the anxiety was almost all-consuming. It was non-refundable, so we were going. My last vacation was the summer before my marriage ended and the only reason I went was because I thought we were staying together. I hadn’t flown since before the pandemic. I’ve been literally frozen in trauma and grief so badly that I basically walk my dog and that’s it. How on Earth was I going to manage this trip?

A light day on the Beluga! Incredible whiteboard marker art by Darwin Alvarez

I expressed to my kids that there would be no judgement if they wanted a day or two to check out and remain on the boat for their wifi/scrolling needs. They didn’t do that once. They showed up for me and (despite still repeatedly saying, “What the f*ck am I doing? What the f*ck have I done? over and over to myself even while waiting for our third flight connection) I showed up for them.

I had no expectations. And the Galapagos would have blown away any that I had. Giant tortoises. Sea lions EVERYWHERE. Penguins! Interesting and silly birds that are as curious about you as you are of them. Schools of rays and hammerhead sharks. Our fellow passengers were beyond lovely. A married couple like I thought I’d be part of forever, an extended family like the one I’m blessed to belong to, with an active grandma like the one I would like to be one day. Two incredible children (not just mine!) Millennial friends on their own personal journeys. And a wonderful crew who supported and cared for our group led by the incredible Darwin, who is the perfect person to guide you through the absolute wonder of the Galapagos with respect for the creatures and the environment.

We snorkeled and swam and played with sea lions daily. Dolphins chased our boat. One day, penguins swirled all around us while we explored a reef straight out of a Disney movie. On that same excursion we saw white tip sharks. The next day there were hundreds of rays and small hammerhead sharks. We hiked landscapes like I’d never seen before, with lava lizards everywhere and really big iguanas just chillin’ here and there.

The grief crept in from time to time. This should be an epic FAMILY vacation, my brain would sometimes scream. But I was able to remind myself that the only reason we were on that trip is because we weren’t a family anymore. Every happy memory I have from the past 25 years is tainted. These new memories I’ve made are just tinged. There’s a difference. And some of them are truly pure and sweet.

Three adorable sea lions playing in the surf on Espanola Island

Now, back at home, I feel lost at sea in an apartment that is lovely but that I do not love (yet) amongst boxes and possessions I have nowhere to put. I’m adrift in a life where I can’t even see my next stop, let alone my next destination. On the Beluga I knew where I was going and what I was doing every day, and I slept better and for longer than I have in over a decade. I haven’t been the captain of my own ship in almost 25 years; I truly loved being first mate. They do say it’s the journey that matters, not the destination. Although for me, for now, my next journey and destination is an ashram in the Bahamas because even though we’re in a heat wave, I feel frozen again. Healing isn’t linear. I remind myself of that hourly.

Healing Isn’t Linear

And healing doesn’t happen all at once. It’s not a vacation. It’s not a checklist. It’s a slow and uneven process filled with starts and stops. I needed to go to the end of the Earth to start and I have no idea when I’ll finally stop. Probably when the money runs out haha.

One night in Quito, Ecuador… Not nearly enough!

But our time on the Beluga reminded me of what I’m capable of: joy, curiosity, connection. Our trip was ten days of beauty and adventure and (randomly) the most incredible hotel breakfast we have ever experienced at the Wyndham Quito Airport Hotel. So even if the afterglow didn’t last as long as I hoped it would, there is a spark again.

I’m certain my kids will remember the sea lions and the boobies and the bickering over wearing sunscreen (sorry, no, that never seems to end). And I truly hope they always remember the feeling of being fully seen and fully loved by me.

Because I will never forget what it feels like to give that to them. And to myself. They are excited about mom’s next nervous breakdown and where it might take them! Kidding! Kinda

The post My Epic, Last-Minute Galapagos Family Trip of a Lifetime appeared first on SavvyMom.

The documentary Stutz on Netflix was the first time the notion of exercise could be self care because it’s good for you and feels good. Jonah Hill, like many of us, viewed working out as a means to an end; that end being weight loss or a “beach body.” What an amazing concept and yet so simple. Once upon a time I got up at 5am and went to the boxing gym every day. I loved those workouts. I used to espouse that it was so good for me because it would be the hardest think I’d do all day. And the fighter mentality finally shushed my inner critic who’d pipe up randomly from time to time.

But then came the pandemic and gym closures. And then came my daughter’s eating disorder which required a no-holds-barred approach to support her recovery and wellness. It gave me a new outlook on diet culture and nutrition and complicated my relationship with fitness. And in my new goals to approach midlife without a crisis, I need to find ways to care for my body and mind in ways that don’t shame or harm others or myself. Enter self care.

Exercise is self care.

Eating is self care.

Sleeping is self care.

Heck, even drinking water is self care (if you struggle to stay hydrated).

Thinking self care is stupid is not self care.

Maybe most people have grasped this concept by now and I’m the only oldtimer who still thinks the bubble bath bandwagon is how most view this concept. We all have our morning routines to start our day to get us and our family moving; how you’ve designed your schedule to best suit you (even if it’s because you need to show up for others) is actually self care.

For a bazillion years we’ve been told we need to strap our oxygen mask on first yada yada yada, but this idea is deeper than that. This is not letting our baby go precious minutes without oxygen while we fumble with the straps of the weird plastic mask while some random problem on the plane terrifies us all. This is all the steps that brought us on the plane in the first place so that if we actually needed to put on a mask it would not be overwhelming to figure it out and just pop it on and get moving with helping our kids.

It’s not caring for ourselves first. It’s simply caring for ourselves. That’s it. It’s not a hierarchy and no one or no thing has priority. It’s part of the wheel that just keeps turning.

Am I off base here? If I’m on to something my only regret is that I needed to burn out before I figured it out.

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