10 Secrets for Polite Kids

1. When the Gift Isn’t Great

To avoid outbursts like ‘I don’t like it!’ or ‘Where’s the toy?’ a little role-playing can help hit the point home about being polite. Practise the appropriate response (‘thank you’ works) no matter what the gift is. Some say it’s faking it however we say it’s acknowledging kindness.

2. When There Is No Gift…

“What did you get me?!” You can’t fault kids for thinking every person at the door is a potential purveyor of a wrapped present but you can temper the expectation. Prepare children in advance that just because a guest comes over, a gift isn’t automatic. So their genuine delight if it does happen is almost thanks enough (but obviously still requires the appropriate response… see #1).

3. When They Want to Open the Present NOW…

Struggling with instant gratification isn’t anything new (watch them squirm while a new app quickly downloads) but kids need to know there is a place and time for everything and this includes waiting for their turn, or even waiting for a few hours, to unwrap gifts.

4. Opened Box = Shared Toy

A gift opened in front of the cousins is fair game, so before they tear open the box to get their hands on the goods, remind them that if they open it in front of friends, they must share it happily or it’s put away for another day.

5. When the Guests Arrive…

If they can walk and talk, they can answer the door and greet people with a smile. Encourage little ones to help with guests’ bags/coats/gloves and to shake hands with everyone as they arrive. This requires a lot of practise with handshakes and direct eyeball-to-eyeball contact. Practise ‘hands and eyeballs’ and repeat often.

6. Let Them Clear the Table

Brace yourself for the inevitable spill, but feel the thrill as the table is cleared by your kids. On average, children aged five and up are capable of carrying their own plates to the kitchen, and older kids can help clear everyone else’s too.

7. If They Go Crackers Over the Crackers

Paper hats and tiny toy tokens are hard to resist, so set the ground-rules early for the big pull. One cracker per person (if that is your preference), no pulling anyone else’s, and you get what you get and you don’t get upset. Now everyone’s ready to party on.

8. No Toys, Screens, or Phones at the Table

Kids can find it hard to keep distractions at bay during a long meal. (This applies to adult family members as well.) Make it clear that, at the table, the only communication accepted is conversational. (But allow kids with clean plates to escape after a reasonable time.)

9. If They Are Afraid of the “Elders”

No one should expect a three year old to be completely captivated by a more sedate senior. But sending the kids in to say ‘hello’ to older relatives (alongside you or a sibling, if necessary) and to share with them their new favourite toy will say (and mean) so much to grandparents and other guests.

10. When Saying ‘Goodnight” Isn’t Always Right…

Bedtime can bring out your kids’ best—or worst—depending on how worn out they are. If the children are still capable of saying ‘good night’ good-naturedly, head them off to bed after a quick au revoir to the relatives. For kids who are at their limit, let them leave the party privately and quietly.

If these secrets to polite kids fail, keep it simple by feeding them something without sugar before you go to a party. And bribe, if necessary!

It’s all part of the season of joy for parents of little rock stars.

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So we thought we’d compile our list of top holiday films that get us into the spirit of things. Here are a few of our favourite picks from our youth. How many of these have you seen?

Best Old School Holiday Movies

One Magic Christmas (1985)

This Disney movie from the ’80s starring Mary Steenburgen is about a mother who learns from an angel that Christmas is more than presents—it’s about the people she loves.

Watch now on Disney+

A Christmas Story (1983)

Who can think about this movie without yelling out “You’ll shoot your eye out!!”? We certainly can’t. This holiday classic takes place in the 1940s, where young Ralphie has to convince his parents, teacher and Santa that he should have a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas. Such a funny film.

Watch now on Crave

Santa Claus is Coming to Town (1970)

One of the animated Rankin/Bass holiday classics (Rudolph and Frosty being two others), this film is about the origin of Santa Claus.

Watch now on AppleTV

Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

Dr. Seuss’ holiday tale is wonderful in both its original animated form (with Boris Karloff as the narrator) and the live-action version starring Jim Carrey. But, nostalgia wins out every time. We love cuddling up with the kids on the couch and sharing the original version with them.

Watch in December on CBC

White Christmas (1954)

Two war buddies turned musical performers head up to their old general’s hotel during the holidays along with a showbiz pair of sisters in order to help bring in some much-needed business. The music alone makes it worth watching.

Watch now on AppleTV

Miracle on 34th Street (1947 & 1994)

A department store Santa Claus claiming to be the real thing begins to soften a cynical mother and her young daughter, but when he’s accused of being insane, a young lawyer tries to prove that he is, in fact, the real thing. And we love it.

Watch the 1947 version on Disney+
Watch the 1994 version on Crave

Home Alone (1990)

Written by John Hughes, the film follows Kevin, a kid who was left behind by his family during the holiday shuffle and has to fight against two wacky burglars trying to break into the house. Pure. Holiday. Classic.

Watch now on Disney+

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

For anyone who has ever had to deal with family dramas, holiday insanity, and more, the Griswolds are folks you’ll want to laugh with. I mean, don’t we all have a ‘Cousin Eddie’ in our families?

Watch now on Crave

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

George Bailey has had a lot of hard knocks in his life, but when he reaches his lowest point, a naive angel helps him realize that he’s had much more of an impact on those around him than he ever dreamed—and inspires him to want to live again.

Watch now on AppleTV

Scrooge (1970)

While there are many versions, the not-as-well-known 1970 musical version starring Albert Finney is one that we think is worth a watch (although maybe not for the littlest family members… it is a ghost story, after all). Bonus: Scrooged, starring Bill Murray, is also a (somewhat raunchy) classic.

Watch now on AppleTV

What are your favourite holiday movies?

Related Reading:

The Best Ways to Give Memories Instead of Gifts

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And we are here for it!

Servings:

Serves 4

Cookies and Cream Milkshakes:

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Myopia means your child can see things up close, but distant objects, like the classroom board or a friend across the field, look blurry. It often creeps in quietly, and because kids don’t always know what “normal” vision looks like, they may not mention anything. That’s why regular eye exams are so important, even when everything seems fine.

Myopia is on the Rise

More children are developing myopia than ever before, which can affect their ability to focus in class, their confidence, and how much they enjoy reading or playing sports. The good news? Catching it early and managing it properly can make a real difference.

Meet Essilor Stellest Lenses

If your child has myopia, Essilor Stellest lenses offer an innovative way to help slow its progression. Using H.A.L.T. (Highly Aspherical Lenslet Target) technology, these lenses manage how light enters the eye to help slow eye elongation, which is one of the main causes of myopia progression. Clinical studies show they can slow myopia progression by an average of 67%*.

Helping Kids See Clearly

As parents, we do our best to help our kids thrive, from balanced meals to bedtime routines. Their eyesight deserves that same care.

Book an eye exam, and if your child has myopia, ask your eye care professional about Essilor Stellest lenses, a smart, science-backed way to help them see clearly today and protect their vision for tomorrow.

*Compared to single vision lenses, when worn by children at least 12 hours per day every day. Bao, J., Huang, Y., Li, X., Yang, A., Zhou, F., Wu, J., Wang, C., Li, Y., Lim, E.W., Spiegel, D.P., Drobe, B., Chen, H., 2022. Spectacle Lenses With Aspherical Lenslets for Myopia Control vs Single-Vision Spectacle Lenses: A Randomized Clinical Trial. JAMA Ophthalmol. 140(5), 472–478. https://doi.org/10.1001/jamaophthalmol.2022.0401.

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When friends don’t return borrowed items…

You were doing the neighbourly thing by loaning out your ladder to the family next door. I’m sure that most neighbours would do the right thing and return it in a timely manner. But what if they don’t? What if a week or a month goes by? The next time you see your neighbour outside, you might say, “Hey neighbour, you finished with my ladder?” They might slap their forehead, apologize and admit that they’d forgotten about it. They may promise to return it that evening. When they don’t, you may leave a sheepish message on their voice mail reminding them about the ladder again. At this point, you are likely wishing that you hadn’t loaned it to them in the first place.

Try this:

knock at their door and say “Hi, I’ve come to get my ladder.” Be prepared for a slightly rude comment, such as: “Wow. That ladder must mean a lot to you.” They may even storm outside with you, retrieve the ladder and shove it into your hands without so much as a thank you. Even though it is your ladder and your neighbour is in the wrong, the borrower has turned things around to make it seem as if you — the lender — has the problem. Remind yourself that this isn’t true. If someone doesn’t have the decency to return things in a timely manner and appreciate your generosity, then they should be embarrassed about their behaviour, not you. Don’t stop being generous to people who appreciate it, and absolutely assert your rights.

Splitting the tab…

Splitting bills at restaurants can bring about some reeeeaaaaallllyyy awkward moments. Some people feel uncomfortable asking for separate bills, perhaps because they don’t want to be perceived as being stingy or cheap. However, my take on this is that everyone is entitled to order off of a menu according to his or her means. Why should you have to worry about what your friend is ordering? It’s especially difficult when the restaurant’s policy is not to split bills. You may feel doubly uncomfortable about using a calculator to divide the cheque according to what you ordered. Ordering alcohol can really jack up a bill, so this can be an especially contentious issue.

Try this:

Honesty is the best policy. My policy is that if you are dining out with good friends, then they should respect your restrictions. If not, then perhaps they’re not the friends you thought they were. Before you even place an order, you may say something like “I hope you don’t mind if we ask for separate bills this evening. We have a budget we’d like to stick to.”

When you don’t want to lend something…

If your daughter relays uneasiness or annoyance about a friend asking for something that she has put a lot of effort into, you should first validate and acknowledge her feelings of being taken advantage of, especially if this is not the first request of its kind. You can also acknowledge that this is a difficult situation, because although your daughter likely wants to be perceived as being generous and kind, she also doesn’t want to be seen as a pushover.

Try this:

You may want to discuss the difference between having a reciprocal sharing arrangement with a friend so that each feels that the other is putting in equal effort, or being asked for a one-time favour compared to this type of request being made on a regular basis. If it’s regular, you may want to help your daughter find a way to express her feelings, such as: “I’d love to be able to help you, but I’d feel resentful because I’ve put in all the work. So, I’m sorry but I can’t.'”

Awkward moments are a part of life, but after you’ve tackled a few in a way that yields positive results, you will build increased confidence in your ability to manage them.

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