10 Secrets to Having Polite Kids Over the Holidays and Beyond
Welcome to the holiday season. This is prime time for showing off your kids’ manners (or lack thereof). Here are a few savvy suggestions on how to enforce some civility and encourage polite kids at your next family fete.
10 Secrets for Polite Kids
1. When the Gift Isn’t Great
To avoid outbursts like ‘I don’t like it!’ or ‘Where’s the toy?’ a little role-playing can help hit the point home about being polite. Practise the appropriate response (‘thank you’ works) no matter what the gift is. Some say it’s faking it however we say it’s acknowledging kindness.
2. When There Is No Gift…
“What did you get me?!” You can’t fault kids for thinking every person at the door is a potential purveyor of a wrapped present but you can temper the expectation. Prepare children in advance that just because a guest comes over, a gift isn’t automatic. So their genuine delight if it does happen is almost thanks enough (but obviously still requires the appropriate response… see #1).
3. When They Want to Open the Present NOW…
Struggling with instant gratification isn’t anything new (watch them squirm while a new app quickly downloads) but kids need to know there is a place and time for everything and this includes waiting for their turn, or even waiting for a few hours, to unwrap gifts.
4. Opened Box = Shared Toy
A gift opened in front of the cousins is fair game, so before they tear open the box to get their hands on the goods, remind them that if they open it in front of friends, they must share it happily or it’s put away for another day.
5. When the Guests Arrive…
If they can walk and talk, they can answer the door and greet people with a smile. Encourage little ones to help with guests’ bags/coats/gloves and to shake hands with everyone as they arrive. This requires a lot of practise with handshakes and direct eyeball-to-eyeball contact. Practise ‘hands and eyeballs’ and repeat often.
6. Let Them Clear the Table
Brace yourself for the inevitable spill, but feel the thrill as the table is cleared by your kids. On average, children aged five and up are capable of carrying their own plates to the kitchen, and older kids can help clear everyone else’s too.
7. If They Go Crackers Over the Crackers
Paper hats and tiny toy tokens are hard to resist, so set the ground-rules early for the big pull. One cracker per person (if that is your preference), no pulling anyone else’s, and you get what you get and you don’t get upset. Now everyone’s ready to party on.
8. No Toys, Screens, or Phones at the Table
Kids can find it hard to keep distractions at bay during a long meal. (This applies to adult family members as well.) Make it clear that, at the table, the only communication accepted is conversational. (But allow kids with clean plates to escape after a reasonable time.)
9. If They Are Afraid of the “Elders”
No one should expect a three year old to be completely captivated by a more sedate senior. But sending the kids in to say ‘hello’ to older relatives (alongside you or a sibling, if necessary) and to share with them their new favourite toy will say (and mean) so much to grandparents and other guests.
10. When Saying ‘Goodnight” Isn’t Always Right…
Bedtime can bring out your kids’ best—or worst—depending on how worn out they are. If the children are still capable of saying ‘good night’ good-naturedly, head them off to bed after a quick au revoir to the relatives. For kids who are at their limit, let them leave the party privately and quietly.
If these secrets to polite kids fail, keep it simple by feeding them something without sugar before you go to a party. And bribe, if necessary!
It’s all part of the season of joy for parents of little rock stars.
